So I told my therapist that I thought I was bipolar or something and she laughed at me. Not like at me but like I told her something that she really appreciated and it made her happy to hear. I was pretty serious about it too, and worried that maybe I was seriously messed up, more than I understood. So she had a good hearty laugh and then said yes you are bipolar and so is everyone else on planet earth. I think that she was glad that I was recognizing it. I've been all hyper for the last few weeks after being really depressed and sad, and I'm posting all this crazy stuff and getting mad at people. But she says that what I am going through makes perfect sense for what is going on with my life right now and that I should just let go of what I think for a while and just enjoy the ride. Like step back and not judge what is going on, but to just have the experience. She said I should look for times that I add to the swinging of the pendulum and learn skills at slowing it, and really these things are just part of growing up and getting life experiences.
I'm real hyper today, I cant focus. I wanted to keep writing about my mom, but I am so drained too that I cant even think or write. And there is the internet factor. It feels real good to get stuff out of me by writing about it, but the internet is not real life. My dad says it can be dangerous, because the things you get back from it aren't real life things, and people can get all involved in stuff that is not important or real. He says the best thing about a computer is that it has a power button. You just push it (off) and suddenly real life appears!
So I promised more about my mom, and I'm sure I will, but for now I need to push the button. The internet speeds up my pendulum.
:)
ReplyDeleteSoilwork - Let this River Flow
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSxMiIYuvwo
lyrics:
Once I lost it
It took hold of me
Once again
Lost and left to see
What was there
Wouldn't let me be
Spoiled with misery
Spoiled with energy
Let me be that one
Who will rise and return from sleep
Give me strength to run
Become one with the remedy
No regrets, no compromise
Story will be told
Won't reject the cure this time
Let this river flow...
As the river
Meets the sea
That's when the ghost
Becomes my belief
Will it wash up?
Serve in need?
Bring the harvest
Without greed...
Bring the harvest, without greed...
Bring the harvest, let me feel...
One for the core, one for the mind
One by one, make me run
Let me be that one
Who will rise and return from sleep
Give me strength to run
Become one with the remedy
No regrets, no compromise
Story will be told
Won't reject the cure this time
Let this river flow...
I will rise up
I will rise up
I will rise up once again
I will rise, I will rise again...
So clear to me yesterday
So clear once for all
It was there almost watching me
Became one with the fall
What if the best of me
Will say that I won't recall
If those empty witnesses
Won't say nothing at all
No regrets, no compromise
Story will be told
Won't reject the cure this time
Let this river flow...
---------------------------
Oh wow, you, that, so gets it!!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you thank you!
I've been called a whore and a gold digger, probably by guys who would have to pay for it and who have no money, I've been accused of being a slut by someone who knows exactly what I did and didnt do, I've been told by someones mother to be good, but you get what this is all about and just say cool.
Kisses :)
((Huggs))
ReplyDelete