So I told my therapist that I thought I was bipolar or something and she laughed at me. Not like at me but like I told her something that she really appreciated and it made her happy to hear. I was pretty serious about it too, and worried that maybe I was seriously messed up, more than I understood. So she had a good hearty laugh and then said yes you are bipolar and so is everyone else on planet earth. I think that she was glad that I was recognizing it. I've been all hyper for the last few weeks after being really depressed and sad, and I'm posting all this crazy stuff and getting mad at people. But she says that what I am going through makes perfect sense for what is going on with my life right now and that I should just let go of what I think for a while and just enjoy the ride. Like step back and not judge what is going on, but to just have the experience. She said I should look for times that I add to the swinging of the pendulum and learn skills at slowing it, and really these things are just part of growing up and getting life experiences.
I'm real hyper today, I cant focus. I wanted to keep writing about my mom, but I am so drained too that I cant even think or write. And there is the internet factor. It feels real good to get stuff out of me by writing about it, but the internet is not real life. My dad says it can be dangerous, because the things you get back from it aren't real life things, and people can get all involved in stuff that is not important or real. He says the best thing about a computer is that it has a power button. You just push it (off) and suddenly real life appears!
So I promised more about my mom, and I'm sure I will, but for now I need to push the button. The internet speeds up my pendulum.